so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
i can't believe i had my finger in that
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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