The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
Randomize
