Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
