So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Randomize
