i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Randomize
