By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Randomize
