i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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