In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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