WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
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