New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
