so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
