if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
