How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
id be glad to
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Randomize
