one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
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