the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
