so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Randomize
