i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
