TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Randomize
