so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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