You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
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