That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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