Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
Life is so much better after having sex.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
