Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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