Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
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