Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Randomize
