You really coming over, don't trick.
Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Randomize
