We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
