The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
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