So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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