How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
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