What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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