I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
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