I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
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