He kissed a someone with a penis
Ketchup is God's man juice
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
