I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
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