You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
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