my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
