It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
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