dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Verdict: uncircumcised.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
