Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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