Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
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