So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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