i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
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