where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
zippers are such a cool invention
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Randomize
