Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize
