He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
