Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
You made out with two different species that night
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
