she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
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