You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
