Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
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